Recently my friend Brian Ladd emailed some web links to me that introduced me to a guy named Nate Larkin. Then he brought me a copy of his book entitled Samson and the Pirate Monks. I have been reading the book for about 2-3 weeks. (It usually takes me awhile to get through one because I read 3-4 at a time.) The book is Nate's story of being addicted to pornography and his subsequent recovery process. Nate picked up his first prostitute while on the way to conduct a candle light service at the church he was pastoring. Now many would say Nate couldn't have been a Christian while at the same time committing such a grievous sin. There was a time when I would have thought the same thing. Truth is, being a Christian isn't about, to quote Nate, "being very good at being very good." But I was brought up to believe Christianity is about, first of all recieving Christ as personal savior; which by the way I still believe. But then the next thing was the task of being the best you, you can be, doing all the right things, and following all the rules. You know, the ones in that book the denomination wrote. That makes God like you better. When you don't "DO" all those things you're not in God's good graces. I tried so hard to be my own savior. I didn't know that was what I was doing. I believed that when I took a personal inventory of my life and I had more good marks than bad I was tight with God. No that's not true. What I really believed was when there was only one bad mark I was no longer in the family.
Let me pause and say I had an encounter with God when I was 14 years old that was a close second to Saul's Damascus Road experience. In that moment I immeidately realized that I must surrender my life to Jesus Christ or I would be eternally lost. I love God more than anyone or anything. I desire to live a holy life. I have no desire to live in sin; any sin. That said, my conduct is not always holy. Neither are my thoughts; and I do sin.
Now back to "being very good at being very good." Nates says it so well in his retelling of the story of the rich young ruler in Mark 10. "The young man was very good at being very good, and his life was marked with the kind of success that religious people usually associate with virtue." When the rich kid gave Jesus the wrong answers Jesus looked at him and loved him. When we think we're doing it right but we aren't, we're still loved by God. Now along with that love always comes instruction on how not to stay like we are. That's real love. (Man, if you love me, love me enough to tell me the truth. Don't let me keep driving toward the bridge that's out.)
The next thing Neal writes about this dialogue between Jesus and Richy Rich is interesting.
"...here's what I suggest. Leave this audience. Sell the stage, the costumes, and the props follow me on a great adventure. The poor young man couldn't do it. He had become so obsessed with with building his own goodness. For too long he had been keeping the rules and making up more, thinking that if only he were right, if only he could do all the right things and learn all the right things and get all the right things and say all the right things, he could bring himself to life. Jesus was saying, 'It's not about being good! It's about being! God is good and that's good enough."
I am realizing that I want to do what Jesus was suggesting to Daddy Warbucks; place my trust in a goodness not my own...abandon my pious, false life in order to find my real one. I have decided to stop trying to live for Christ and live in Christ
Yes, just being is better than being good.
If you're interested in knowing more of Nate Larkin's story and how God is now using him in ministry go to http://www.iamsecond.com/ to view a portion of his story.
